Marching With Martin Luther King in 1963; a diversity & inclusion hero

In January, we celebrated the birthday of Martin Luther King- who was one of the leading inclusionists in US history.

I got to witness inclusionist history in 1963 when I attended the March on Washington with 250,000 other people, and this week I was honored to be a featured guest on two radio shows to share my experience.

I was in junior high now called middle school, in New York when I went . I didn’t have a particular ideology, nor was I an activist at that time.

About 4 years before that, I was walking with my friend, and her mother when we passed a Woolworths with people marching back and forth in front of the store, holding signs and chanting, “1234 Don’t Go In Here Any More, 5678 Southern Woolworths Segregate.”

I was told that they were protesting because Black people weren’t allowed to eat at the lunch counters at Woolworths in the Southern states or our country. I thought about my black friends, and that if they were in the south, we wouldn’t be able to eat lunch together, and it upset me, so I joined the picket line.

So when people from my overnight camp were organizing a few busloads of people to go to Washington for the March, I volunteered. I didn’t know what was going to happen, but again I thought about my friends. I think I thought it would be like marching in front of Woolworths with a a bunch of people. That was a mistaken assumptions because it was so much more.

My strongest memory was looking out the window of the bus as we arrived in DC, and seeing thousands of people lining the streets, smiling, and waving. It seemed to happen in slow motion, I had never seen so many people, and never seen so many different kinds of people together.

I remember the chill I got, and how my whole mind, body, and emotions were consumed with feelings of love, and welcome, and being part of something so huge.

It was the first time I had felt so connected to the world, and I was only thirteen.

I knew that day, that it was not just one day for me. I had no idea what was next, but I knew it wasn’t the end.

I felt that I, that young Jewish girl from the Bronx, was where I belonged. The optimism, unity, love and joy that day was almost surreal.

On the way back to New York, we stopped for food at a diner in Maryland, where they refused to serve us, because we were an integrated group. Someone organized an impromptu, spontaneous sit-in and we stayed until they served us.

I was asked during one of the interviews to talk about what it was like as a young white girl to have Black and other non-white friends. I hadn’t thought about it from that perspective before, but there were people who couldn’t understand why I had friends who were different and why I would want to be around people who were different than me. I was not in the popular crowd, didn’t get invited to a lot of the parties, didn’t know where I belonged, until years later, when I looked at my life realized that I belong in the world with people who want to create communities, workplaces and a world where everyone can do their best work, live their best life, and has an opportunity to excel and whatever they want and be happy.

Although my life went in several different directions, I took the value and vision of inclusion wherever I went, until I started my business as a diversity and inclusion consultant, and I became the inclusionist. But it was really that day in 1963, when the seeds of the “The Inclusionist,” were planted.

Ten Keys to Change Workplace Culture

There are ten critical steps that my best clients, and their clients have taken to develop and implement a successful culture change.

1- Leadership must define objectives and create a written, graphic vision of their desired culture.

2- Enlist your whole leadership team, and identify your fellow champions, by the passion they display either in words or actions. Allow them to add to the vision.

Ask your team these questions,

A-What would make this the kind of workplace that made you jump out of bed every day, even faster than you do now?

B- If you were one of your direct reports, or an hourly employee, what would need to change to make you want to jump out of bed every day?

C- What stops this from happening now?

D- If you were a customer, what would make your experience so amazing and enjoyable, that you would take pride in being a customer of this company, and look forward to returning, with everyone you know.

3- Conduct an organizational assessment. Compare your executive team responses to the assessment data, and measure their understanding of the needs and perspectives of their managers and hourly employees.

4- Create an implementation plan that involves employees at every level. Market the culture change process, so it permeates the organization.

5- Identify one or two key issues that were raised in the assessment process and begin action.

6- Develop a communication process to make employees aware that you have listened to their feedback, and keep them apprised of progress.

7- Consistently make the relationship between those key issues, your actions, and developing and implementing an inclusive work culture.

8- Create an accountability system, and hold managers accountable for their employees’ ability to articulate their organizational culture, and practice behavior consistent with the new, or improved culture.

9- Demonstrate how implementing, and contributing to the culture change will benefit employees at every level as individuals, and as part of the whole organization.

“Everyone in your organization will be more motivated, if they have the answer to the question; “What’s in it for me?”

10-“Be willing to release employees at any level who refuse to progress, and hold you back. They'll be happier somewhere else.”

Four Holiday Stress Hotspots, and How to Unstress

There are four main causes of holiday stress: gift giving obligations, expenses, a lack of time, and your unrealistic expectations, and other people's expectations about you creating a perfect holiday. To reduce holiday stress, know the ins and outs of these top four holiday stress hotspots and follow these effective stress-reducing tips: Holiday Stress Hotspot #1: Gifts Make a list of everyone you need to buy gifts for. Look for gifts you can buy for multiple people.Similarly, look for stores where you can buy many gifts for a lot of people. Plan a few back-up gifts, generic gifts with blank cards for people you might forget or who unexpectedly give you a gift. Focus on the point of gift giving: showing your appreciation for someone. Enjoy the process of finding them something they'll like,or that they can regift if they don't like it. This will save them time, next year, unless they accidentally regift the gift you bought them. If you don't like shopping, plan a single gift shopping day. Make this day sooner than later to avoid the holiday shopping craze. Or, don't go shopping. Order online- but be careful not to spend the whole day comparing sites Better yet, take off the rest of December, and go to the mountains where no one can call, email, facebook or tweet you. Or, tell people you are leaving town, stay home-watch movies, and don't answer phone or email. Holiday Stress Hotspot #2: Holiday Expenses Set a budget, and stick to it. Don't buy gifts that you'll spend the rest of the year trying to pay off. Send them a card saying that you didn't buy them a gift, in order to save them the time, money and obligation of feeling they have to buy you something. Think of alternative ways to give gifts (set up a gift exchange, make some handmade gifts or foodstuffs). Choose inexpensive ways of entertaining and enjoying. Have a potluck party instead of providing all the food yourself. Do activities with family and friends that cost little or no money: go on walks, have a movie night, instead of going to see the latest blockbuster together. Give the gift of a phone call or note. Let the people you care about know how important they are to you with words, not expensive gifts. Most people need this type of nourishment in general, and may need it even more during the holidays. It may be the best gift they get. Or, if you don't want to talk to them, call them when you know they're not home, and tell them it's the only time you're around for the next six months. Holiday Stress Hotspot #3: A Lack of Time Complete your gift shopping early. This will relieve you of one of the biggest time stresses during the holidays. Refuse Invitations. You don't have to go to every party you're invited to. If party going becomes a chore or exhausting, step back and slow down the pace. Or, tell them you'd love to be there, if you can bring your two dogs, three birds, and pet python. Take time for yourself. With so much emphasis on time with family and friends, many people feel guilty taking time for themselves. Take it. When you consciously plan to have alone time, it keeps you empowered and reduces possible feelings of melancholy during the holiday season. You will also be also be less overwhelmed by external stimuli. Share the tasks. Don't take on too much. View your to-do list as an opportunity to spend time with people. Share responsibilities and your tasks will take half as long and be more enjoyable. Holiday Stress Hotspot #4: Anticipation and Expectations Be realistic. Just because it's the holidays, family issues will not suddenly disappear and everything will not be perfect. Adjust your expectations. Expect a few bumps in the road at family events and gatherings and you'll be better able to deal with them. Relish Traditions. Focus on those little traditions that make evoke positive memories for the holidays: songs, events, rituals, etc. Consider creating new traditions if older ones are marred with mixed memories. Stay focused on each moment, and not how you wish it would be, or how great it was 40 years ago before internet. Don't take yourself too seriously, and let go of expectation, and have fun.

Diversity and Inclusion Zeroes

Diversity and Inclusion Zeroes; candidates that support exclusion-

As the inclusionist, and supporter of diversity, and learning,I was appalled, shocked and offended this week, by Rick Perry, Newt Gingrich, Michelle Bachmann, and Rick Santorum.

I was appalled, shocked, and offended as a Jewish person

I was appalled, shocked and offended as a member of the LGBTand ally community

I was appalled, shocked and offended as a sentient person of intelligence and sanity

First, as a Jewish person- Perry, Santorum, Gingrich, Romney and Bachmann spoke to a group of very conservative Jewish Republicans. Each one got up on the stage talking about how much they love Jewish people, and how much they love Israel. It was sickening- they love Jewish people so much, but they think we'll burn in hell, if we don't follow their religious beliefs.

To take this clown act even further, they all had the chutzpah (Michelle Bachmann misprounced it my saying Shurzpah) to demand the resignation of the US ambassador to Belgium, a Jewish man whose parents were holacaust survivors, because he mildly criticized Israel and talked about the need for peace with the Palestinians.

So now these so-called good people of the Christian faith, are the judges of which Jewish person is the good Jew. Who anointed them the deciders. They are not friends of Jewish people, not friends of inclusion, and are the antidiversity role models.

And who elected them as the spokespeople for Christianity? Are the millions of Christians who don't agree with them considered heretics?

Where is the barf bag when I need one?

Next as a member of the LGBT, ally, and diversity and inclusion community, I’m appalled, shocked, and offended by Rick Perrys’ doofus ad where he says, why should gay people serve openly in the military when kids can’t be open about celebrating Xmas in schools. Huh? Even his pollster, Tony Fabrizio called it “nuts,”

These people in the military are risking their lives, fighting in Afghanistan, for a war that Perry believes in.

Let Rick Perry go and fight. Too late, he missed the crusades, and the inquisition.

And then he loves Jewish people so much, but wants public schools to celebrate Xmas? I guess he loves our votes, but not the fact that we don’t consider Christmas our holiday. We’re not against it, and I love all the Christmas parties, but it’s not what I want my son to learn in school, and I don't want he to be forced to stand for prayers.

I offer ways to honor diversity and inclusion during the holidays here-

http://www.simmalieberman.com/articles/diversityholidays.htm

I believe in the American Dream, that we can value and all benefit from diversity in many different forms, and that it is through inclusion in our culture that people learn to excel and make us greater as a nation.

And as a footnote, Perry was wearing the same jacket as one of the guys in Broke Back mountain, and looked lilke he had just stepped out of the movie.

And finally, I was appalled, shocked and offended as a sentient person of intelligence and sanity, that none of them know history, geography, how many supreme court justices there are, the difference between Iran and Iraq, and that the GeorgeWashington, and Thomas Jefferson were dead years before the slaves were freed.

Now I’m not going to get into the fact that Michele Bachmann thinks that people who are in the country without documentation should not only lose their children but it was fine with her to have them all taken to jail, while their kids watching screamin and crying. Even Bill O’Reilly couldn’t believe it.

And although I disagree with Ron Paul, and Jim Huntsman, they are the most intelligent, and knowledgable of the Republican candidates, and for some reason, get the least amount of support.

Which is why I wonder if someone either put acid in my punch, transported me to the bizarre world, or I’m still asleep,and this is a dream.

Guinare Free Will Baptist Church Bans Interracial Relationships

Breaking News Alert: for everyone who wants to believe that we are in a “post-racial era,” We’re not!

While some people have shied away from discussions about race, because they feel uncomfortable, members from the Guinare Free Will Baptist Church in Kentucky did not.

They were more than willing to talk about race, after Stella Harville, the Church secretary’s daughter, attended a service and sang with her Black fiancé, Ticha Chukuni.

Some members of the Guinare Free Will Baptist Church, were more than willing to talk about the issue, in order to vote to ban interracial couples from becoming members of the church

Harvilles father, Dean Harville said "The way I look at it, it’s a slap in God’s face to say something like this." He accused Melvin Thompson, the church’s former pastor, who called for this vote, of racism. Thompson replied that he wasn’t a racist, and the vote was not intended to pass judgement, but was intended to promote greater unity among the church body.

Unity of what? A united front for racism?

The churches present pastor Stacy Stepp, opposes the ban, and said that he will deal with it at the Denominations' regional council, and work to overturn it.

I believe that policies like this are symptoms of ignoracacy. This is what happens when people don’t have constructive conversations about race. Without honest dialogue, there is a void that is filled by the voices of those who espouse hate, and who are afraid of any kind of diversity.

In a recent program that I hosted on the Swirl Radio Show, (www.SwirlRadio.com) I asked whether in fact, we are in fact a nation of cowards when it comes to talking about race. Are people so afraid to admit they don't know a lot about people who are different?

Are too many people, too afraid to ask each other questions, even if they make mistakes?

Why are the people talking the loudest, the ones that want to spread the diseases of bigotry, racism, and fear?

Why are they so willing to talk about race, and why are the people who should talk about it, those that don’t share those views remaining silent most of the time?

It's great to speak out in condemnation, but meaningful dialogues across the country, might eliminate some of the hate speech, and make people less afraid of differences, and diversity.

We will see less racism, fear and ignorance, when people are willing to take a risk, face their discomfort, not worry about “saying the wrong thing to each other, and have meaningful conversations about race.

We'll be better as a country when we take the time hear other people’s experiences, and be willing to stop objectifying and start humanizing.

Are We a Nation of Cowards Regarding Race? Diversity Alone is Not Enough

As the Inclusionist, with a life and passion for diversity and inclusion, I know that there are three changes that must take place in this country to get us on a sane, rational road regarding race.

1- -Acknowledge that racism, bias and discrimination exists, that it is often unconscious, and that everyone with a bias is not a racist, and can learn, and open their minds.

2- There needs to be a national dialogue on race, which will actually bring us closer and unify us. (There will always be those people that are haters to the bone, but they would be isolated.)

3- We all have to be willing to accept that people in the groups that we identify with whether it’s race, ethnicity, religion, politics, etc. are capable of very bad, and even criminal and immoral behavior. It’s their actions as individual, and is not a reflection on you, or the whole group.

So, I challenge you to begin thinking about these three points, and begin to engage in conversation or dialogue with someone who is very different, and listen to them without interrupting, or sticking your fingers in your ears.

Until each of us is ready to take these three steps, we’ll continue reading ridiculous claims from people, who not only are afraid to have a meaningful dialogue about race, but who use it for their convenience, like manipulative five year old children, who blame the cat for breaking their parents' HD television.

Is Age Just a Number? Stop Stereotyping Generations

Is age just a number? No, and Yes!

No, because we all view people, events, situations, etc. from our own reference points, which come from our own experiences. Most of our perceptions are formed by what we experience, see and hear, before we are eighteen. Everyone has their own experiences, and each generation has been impacted by different external events, which influence how we view the world, how we communicate, and what we value.

At the same time, while a vast majority of people in a generation may be impacted by an event, like the Cuban Missile Crisis, Viet Nam War, Columbine, Google, election of Barack Obama, etc. we’re not all affected the same way.

It’s more likely, but not definite, that a Gen Y person, born after 1980, will be more comfortable with social networking applications, than someone born before 1955.

Yes, age is just a number, because anyone of any age, can learn how to use social networking applications, and many people born before 1980, are very comfortable with social networking. A sixty-year-old person can compete in a triathlon, and a twenty five year old can be a couch potato.

Age, or being a member of any one-generation doesn’t have to define who we are, or control what we do for a living. It doesn’t mean that an older person, can’t keep learning, or that a younger person doesn’t have insight, experience and wisdom.

No matter what, if we are going to be successful in the workplace, and in our lives, we would all benefit from knowing how to communicate across generations.

Here are three of my ten tips, for communicating well across generations.

• Stay curious. You can read all the books on generation differences, and get the PowerPoint slides, but that’s a poor substitute for getting to know people older, or younger. So often, books just categorize and stereotype as opposed offering information about cultural norms.

Ask people older, or younger than you questions about their experiences, viewpoints, and interests. You might be surprised at what you have, or don’t have in common.

• Be ready to learn, and share your knowledge. Older employees, or those who have been their longer, have institutional memory, and information. Many of them have learned from their mistakes, and would be glad to share what they’ve learned, so you don’t have to make them.

Younger employees, my have technical knowledge that can help you do your job faster, more accurately, and achieve better results. You can set up a skills and knowledge exchange that will help everyone be more successful, and advance careers.

• Be Mindful of how your assumptions influence your interactions.